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"Remember the brunette in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive? Not the blonde, the brunette..."
the clancy brown enigma
by joe winter
Over breakfast:
“You know the guy who played the sadistic guard in Shawshank Redemption?”
“What about him?”
“Did you know he also does the voice for Mr. Crabs on SpongeBob SquarePants?”
“Really? I wouldn't have guessed that.”
“Guess what else.”
“There's more?”
“His father was a U.S. congressman from Ohio.”
“Hmmm. What's his name?”
“The congressman?”
“No. The son. Mr. Crabs.”
“I can't remember.”
Later that night in bed:
“Hey. Remember the brunette in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive? Not the blonde, the brunette.”
“I guess so. I didn't really like that movie.”
“I liked it. Did you know she was once Miss USA?”
“That's not the sort of thing I would know.”
“She was also once married to a German prince or something. At one time she was the great-great-granddaughter-in-law of Otto von Bismarck.”
“Bismarck, huh?”
“Guess what else.”
“There's more?”
“She was shot in the head when she was twelve-years-old”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. I'm serious. They say the bullet missed her brain by a millimeter.”
“That's close. What's her name?”
“Laura something. She's Mexican.”
“Laura doesn't sound like a Mexican name.”
“Her mother called her Laurita.”
Joe Winter is hiding behind a Ralph's supermarket in Orange County, CA. He has work that has appeared or will be appearing in Bartleby Snopes, Word Riot, Thuglit, and other places.
