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“Mister Doorman you make beautiful doors, and you hang them beautifully. You did a wonderful job. Now I want you to knock me up..."

in a capitalist country
written at the house on hadley road by ed markowski


I hung the last French door which opened onto a slate patio that was four times the size of my house. I was packing my tools when Our Lady of Pheasant Manor showed up on the patio wearing a thigh length white satin robe. Her slim fingers curled around a bottle of Dom and two Ruby rimmed crystal flutes.

She smiled. She said, “Sit.” I wanted to bark but I didn’t. We sat on white wicker thrones at a black wicker table. Champagne notes crackled in the crystal flutes. She gave me a check that was three thousand dollars more than the contracted price.

She said, “Mister Doorman you make beautiful doors, and you hang them beautifully. You did a wonderful job. Now I want you to knock me up.” She stood up. Her robe fell to the slate and caressed my work boots. Working for the rich is a great thing. Working for the rich who are bored is greater yet.

When my only child grows up, I want him to have the same opportunities I had. Communists and Socialists like Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton will destroy the business and social programs the profanely rich provided when I was starting out in life and growing my fledgling business. That’s the reason I’m voting for Donald Gump.

(illustration: kurt eisenlohr)


Ed Markowski lives and writes in Auburn Hills, Michigan. Many, many more of Ed's fine stories can be found in the Smokebox Archives.

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©2016 Ed Markowski • Smokebox
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