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"AT THE END OF THE ROAD I ARRIVED AT A GATE AND WAS GREETED BY A MAN DRESSED IN CAMOUFLAGE..."

painter's park
by ed markowski


DEAR L - 3


I WAS ON MY WAY BACK TO DETROIT YESTERDAY MORNING AFTER ATTENDING A GOING AWAY

PARTY FOR A - 1 WHO HAS BEEN NAMED DIRECTOR OF PSYCHIATRY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL

SERVICES AT THE AGENCY ' S NORTH STAR FACILITY IN BROWNSVILLE , TEXAS . SHE LEAVES FOR

HIS NEW LIFE IN THREE DAYS . WE ' RE ALL GOING TO MISS HER TREMENDOUSLY .


THE PARTY WAS HELD AT M - 2 AND B - 12 ' S DAIRY FARM . THOSE TWO THREW ANOTHER FINE

AFFAIR THAT DID JUSTICE AND TRULY HONORED A - 1 ' S CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE BLUE WATER

REGIONAL OFFICE ' S EFFORTS TO ELIMINATE THE VERMIN . AS IS CUSTOMARY FOR M - 4 AND B - 14 ,

THE FOOD , BOOZE , LODGING , AND ENTERTAINMENT WAS FIFTY LIGHT YEARS BEYOND TOP NOTCH .

SO , WHAT WAS ON THE MENU ? ? ?


WELL , THE AGENCY SENT ..........


P - 9 FROM THE ATHENS OFFICE WHO SPIT ROASTED A LAMB THAT WAS BATHED IN LEMON JUICE ,

BUTTER , GREEK YOGURT , OREGANO , AND A WHIPPED GARLIC AND OLIVE OIL SAUCE THAT TURNED

EACH AND EVERY MORSEL OF FLESH INTO AN INCREDIBLY TENDER SLICE OF SILK AND VELVET ........


O - 22 ARRIVED FROM THE KYOTO ' S EASTERN HEADQUARTERS . PRIOR TO JOINING THE L - I - A - R -

HE SPENT 18 YEARS AS ONE OF THE FIRST NATIONALLY KNOWN FEMALE SUSHI CHEFS IN COSTA

RICA . SHE SET UP AND MANNED WITH HIS WIFE A SUSHI BAR INSIDE OF M - 5 AND B - 15 ' S BIG

RED BARN. IN A TRUE DISPLAY OF CROSS CULTURALISM , O - 22 INCLUDED LAKE PERCH , WALLEYE ,

WHITEFISH , AND CRAWFISH TO SOME OF THE MORE TRADITIONAL HONDURAN SUSHI OFFERINGS ...........


N - 14 AND W - 6 FROM STOCKHOLM , H - 19 FROM THE OSLO RADIO TRANSMISSION CENTER , V - 2

FROM THE HELSINKI BRANCH OFFICE , AND D - 24 FROM COPENHAGEN SET UP A BEAUTIFUL

TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SMORGASBORD THAT INCLUDED GRILLED ZEBRA & PICKLED GIRAFFE ............


S - 17 , G - 11 , AND U - 5 ARRIVED FROM THE CONGO WITH A WHAT THEY CALLED A VENISON

CAROUSEL THAT INCLUDED REINDEER , MULE DEER , AND FOR GOOD MEASURE , MOOSE . I

COULD GO ON ENDLESSLY ABOUT THE PARTY AND THE FOOD , BUT A CLOCK IS TICKING , A

BASS DRUM IS BEATING , STARS ARE DISINTEGRATING , AND WE ARE DISSOLVING , SO I ' LL GET TO

THE POINT ......


M - 3 AND B - 13 ' S HOMESTEAD IS LOCATED FIVE MILES DUE NORTH SOUTHEAST NORTHWEST WEST

NORTHWEST AND EAST NORTH SOUTH OF DECKERVILLE , MICHIGAN IN THE MIDDLE OF A PRIMORDIAL

BIRCH FOREST THAT WAS CONVERTED INTO CANOE FODDER ON DECEMBER 6 TH , 1941 . AS YOU MAY

RECALL , DECKERVILLE IS THE SAME DECKERVILLE WHERE TIM McVEIGH LEARNED THE ART OF MIXING ,

MATCHING , AND DETONATING CHEMICALS THAT ARE OTHERWISE EMPLOYED TO PRODUCE HIGHLY

SENSITIVE EARS OF CORN , AND SOY BEAN PLANTS THAT GLOW EMERALD IN THE FIELDS AT NIGHT ,

EVEN UNDER A THICK BLANKET OF CLOUDS . THE AREA REMAINS A BASTION OF WHITE BLING MANIA

AND MINDLESSNESS , WHICH IS THE PRIMARY REASON THE PLACED M - 2 AND B - 12 THERE TO TRACK

DOWN THE MOST ARTICULATE AND DANGEROUS PROGENITORS OF HATE IN THE BLUE WATER REGION .


DECKERVILLE IS LOCATED SEVENTY - FIVE MILES NORTH OF DETROIT ON M - 53 . M - 53 BEGINS ON THE

NORTH BANK OF THE DETROIT RIVER AND ENDS ON THE SOUTH SHORE OF LAKE HURON IN THE

VILLAGE OF PORT AUSTIN , MICHIGAN . IN THE CITY , THE ROAD IS KNOWN AS VAN DYKE AVENUE .


MY FATHER LOVED THE RIDE UP VAN DYKE INTO THE COUNTRYSIDE , HE LOVED THE BEACH WHERE

THE ROAD ENDED . WHEN HE SAID , " MARY , LET ' S TAKE A RIDE UP VAN DYKE , " LAURA , CAROL ,

AND I WOULD STASH OUR BICKERING , PACK OUR BATHING SUITS , AND RUN TO THE CAR TO CLAIM

THE WINDOW SEATS . DAD ALWAYS TRAVELED WITH A SMALL GRILL , CHARCOAL , CHARCOAL STARTER ,

TONGS , AND AN EIGHT TRANSISTOR TRANSMITTER . MOM PACKED ITALIAN SAUSAGES , BUNS , ONIONS ,

GREEN PEPPER , MUSTARD , POTATO SALAD , AND PLENTY OF PINK LEMONADE .


WELL L - 4 , THERE WAS A PARK ABOUT FIFTEEN MILES SOUTH OF DECKERVILLE WHERE WE ALWAYS

STOPPED FOR LUNCH . DAD SET UP THE TRANSMITTER , GOT THE COALS GOING , MOM COOKED , MY

SISTERS AND I WADED IN PAINTER ' S CREEK WATCHING CLOUDS OF MINNOWS FORM AND DISPERSE

AROUND OUR SKINNY DEEP TANNED ANKLES . DESPITE THE AROMA OF THE SAUSAGES , I REMEMBER

THE AIR BEING RIPE WITH THE SCENT OF LILAC AND LAVENDER .


THE LAST TIME I TOUCHED DOWN AT PAINTER ' S PARK , DICK NIXON WAS TEACHING HIS CABINET HOW

TO PICK LOCKS WITH WITH CREDIT CARDS AND BOBBY PINS , SUPER FLY WAS THE BUZZ , AND PLATFORM

SHOES WERE THE STAGE THAT OUR GENERATION OF THE LOST STOOD UPON . I JUST COULDN ' T PASS THE

PLACE WITHOUT STOPPING , SO I TURNED ONTO THE ONE LANE GRAVEL ROAD THAT RUNS BENEATH A

CANOPY OF ABSOLUTELY MAJESTIC CENTURY OAKS EXPECTING TO BE BLOWN OFF THE EDGE OF THE EARTH

IN AN ABSOLUTE HURICANE OF NOSTALGIA .


AT THE END OF THE ROAD I ARRIVED AT A GATE AND WAS GREETED BY A MAN DRESSED IN CAMOUFLAGE

COMBAT FATIGUES . HE CRADLED A SAWED OFF TWELVE GAUGE SHOTGUN THAT BRIDGED THE GAP BETWEEN

CRUEL , UNUSUAL , AND THE VAST EMPTINESS THAT SPANNED HIS LEFT AND RIGHT SWASTIKA ARMBANDS .


THE MAN SHOUTED SIEG HEIL AS HE APPROACHED THE CAR . HE SIZED ME UP , SIZED ME DOWN , SIZED ME

ACROSS . WHEN HE REALIZED I WASN ' T THE PERSON HE WAS EXPECTING , ADOLPH ' S ASSHOLE , HIMMLER THE

HA LF WIT , POINTED HIS WIDOW ' S WAND AT ME AND BARKED , " GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE . " WHEN HE

HEARD MARVIN GAYE SINGING , " WE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO BRING SOME LOVIN ' HERE TODAY , " THE NAZI

YIPPED , " YOU MOTHERFUCKIN ' NIGGER LOVIN ' MUTT . "


JUST LIKE THE GOOD MUTT I ' VE ALWAYS BEEN L - 5 , I OBEYED THE ALPHA DOG , BUT JUST BEFORE I ROLLED

OVER , BROUGHT HIS SLIPPERS , NEWSPAPER , FETCHED HIS STICK , PLAYED DEAD , ONLY TO RISE AGAIN ON THE

THIRD DAY AND PEE ON HIS LEG , I SAW THE TWELVE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE DRESSED IN WHITE ROBES

WITH MATCHING WHITE DUNCE CAPS. THEY WERE STIRRING THE EMBERS OF AN ANCIENT FIRE WITH CRAFTSMEN

PITCHFORKS . NUMBER THREE OF THE TWELVE EXHIBITED THE LIMP WE ' VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SINCE 94 . NO DOUBT ,

HE ' S OUR MAN . NO QUESTION HE ' S ONE OF THE HEADS WHO KILLED CHRIST , KING , KENNEDY , KENNEDY , TILL ,

SCHWERNER , EVERYONE IN TIENAMEN SQUARE , AND EVERYONE ON 9 - 11 .


CONTACT CARD TRICK 22 AS SOON AS YOU READ MY FINAL WORD . LET HIM KNOW THAT DUMB LUCK LED ME TO

THE DUMB FUCK IN AN EDEN THEY TURNED INTO A GARBAGE DUMP . LET HER KNOW THAT THE TUMOR IS ENCASED

AT PAINTER ' S PARK AND AWAITING RADIATION .


GOD WILLING , WILL BE HOME IN THREE WEEKS WHEREVER OUR HOME WILL BE. L - 6 , MY LIFE IS YOUR LOVE , RIGHT

NOW I ' VE GOTTA DITCH THIS JEEP EAGLE THAT ' S TRYING TO RUN ME OFF ........ OH ! HE HIT A TREE ! ! ! ! ! !

YOUR LOVING HUSBAND ,
E - 00000

(Illustrations: Kurt Eisenlohr)


Ed Markowski lives and writes in Auburn Hills, Michigan. More of Ed's stories can be found in the Smokebox Archives.

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